Less Words
Breathing your love,
I want to master the art.
With less words,
How to occupy your heart?
I thought for many nights,
Under cloudless sky conniving with the stars.
Intoxicated with your love,
Even the striking clock sounds like the guitar.
Neither, I can play with words,
Nor, I can weave a fable.
I get goosebumps on my body,
When we sit across the table.
You're a man of few words,
But, I'm little loquacious.
Fearing my utterance of useless words,
Project me as flirtatious.
So, the less words I want,
Can you help me, please?
Or else I'll say love you,
Every time I breathe.
Yet another wonderful piece Saru... "Even the striking of clock sounds like guitar." - loved this line very much!! I assume you've lived and enjoyed each line you describe here... An unconventional approach to a common situation :) And kudos on crossing 10,000 page views :D
ReplyDeleteYou rock in love poetry...heart piercing lines..so soft a theme and so softly said...I get the different intricacies of love in your poetry:-)
ReplyDeleteyou know i keep running out of words to describe your work...your Romantic Quotient is increasing by the day...and so is the number of vivid images that you sneak in....in every single line...i can drink this one :)))
ReplyDeleteSaru... your words are almost divine...so well articulated...
ReplyDeleteVery Nice.... Deep thought
ReplyDeleteFantastic poem yaar.. Wonder how the guy (you mentioned in the poem) will react :)
ReplyDeletesaru in gujarati means nice. you are saru :)
ReplyDeletesaru....marry me! ;)
awesome..:)
ReplyDeleteyour less words have left me out of words to comment on it.
keep writing. :)
A classic piece...don't know but I like it the most from last few poems of yours..
ReplyDeleteWonderful rhythm and what a feel you give! Your words have Magic, Saru! Keep Going :)
ReplyDeleteYou have Amazing....Loved this one...keep it up.
ReplyDeleteYou do breathe love Saru, maybe your heart also beats love in every blood cell..
ReplyDeleteElse no one can come with such a piece!
You're a man of few words,
But, I'm little loquacious.
Fearing my utterance of useless words,
Project me as flirtatious.
These lines really made me think, I said to myself "Isn't this the same case with you? This lady has expressed that feeling so beautifully!"
superb!! loved it :) u'r awesome!! love ya ;)
ReplyDelete@spicy sweet : You wont believe it, but i was going to write the exact same thing.I could totally relate to those lines.
ReplyDelete@saru : Yet another beauty.The feeling is described so beautifully and intricately.I am amazed as to how can somebody word feelings so well.
So much LOVE! How do u manage to capture it?Saying i love you everytime i breath..i prefer less words.
ReplyDeleteLovelyeverytime i breath..i prefer less words.
Lovely
you have struck bang on, yet again :)
ReplyDeletethis is so very beautiful!
ReplyDeletefor a change...i didnt quite like the start (1st 4 lines) coz i felt u write better...but then the progress you made thereafter was like - WOW!
ReplyDeleteu didnt really leave me any option but to accept the deal ;)
Woowww! I never knew words can be so magical. Yet another lovely piece, Saru! Every line is equally fantastic :)
ReplyDeletewow saru its magical ......... love its depth , love your wording .......fall in love with your poem ....... super ..... less word ... touch my heart .
ReplyDeleteBreathing your love,
I want to master the art.
With less words,...... awasome .
your love poem always spread smile on face and a dhuk-dhuk moments........ <3 <3 <3 <3
Wow!! Fabulous Saru. I loved that line 'Even the striking of clock sounds like guitar.' very nice :)
ReplyDeletewow.. :) just amazing.. U r very very talented.. Love is such a wonderful feeling.. Nd d poem is even more wonderful...
ReplyDeletewe r readin ur blog 4 d first tym.. Nd we are so so impressed by you..
Keep writing.. Will definitely visit for more.. :) wow.. :) just amazing.. U r very very talented.. Love is such a wonderful feeling.. Nd d poem is even more wonderful...
we r readin ur blog 4 d first tym.. Nd we are so so impressed by you..
Keep writing.. Will definitely visit for more.. :)
How do you just keep doing it...every time..each time...your words never fail to impress!
ReplyDeleteawwww.. Is it introspection or random contemplation? I guess u have explored this emotion and its different shades- Love as everytime there is a different angle or rather a different expression in it. Good one! :)
ReplyDeletesuch a lovely poem ! :)
ReplyDeleteBeautifully expressed.
ReplyDeleteI'll say love you,
ReplyDeleteEvery time I breathe!
Just waow .. No words.
My Blog: Life is Just a Life
.
i loved the last line...it summed up everything so beautifully... every guy would kill be to be with a girl how u've portrayed in the poem :)...
ReplyDeletei like the way in which u portray emotions.. so dreamy yet believable :)... i like it... a lot :)
Take care and keep writing........
Experience goes beyond the reasoning mind,
ReplyDeleteIt is the heart that has wings, not the head..
A perfect exhibit been displayed.Well done Saru!
Publish a book of your work please. I wanna keep them with me forever <3
ReplyDeleteAs Always a beautiful piece ! Love this lines.Intoxicated with your love,
ReplyDeleteEven the striking of clock sounds like guitar.
OH MY GOD!!! It truly brought goosebumps to me! And the ending is just out of the world!
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely WONDERFUL saru!
ReplyDeleteEm speechless fantastic! I so fell in love with it
this is simply amazin....love defined beautifully...wen even clocks sound like stummin of guitar...o how i love tat thought....loved the write..:)
ReplyDeleteTo say that you cannot do wordplay in your own post, it is highly underrating yourself, because I see the words dance to their own tune while they sit here on this blog page.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
words are your slave saru :) and well, the ending couldn't get any better than that...
ReplyDeleteSometimes we do not know how a word can change our lives. Love is such a word. May you get the love of your heart and may you be loved.
ReplyDeleteOMG..From where do you get these beautiful words...
ReplyDeletelovely poem. Keep going :)
ReplyDeleteWah Wha saaru jee kya baat hai :) :) Loved every lines of this poem. The way it started was awesome.
ReplyDelete"Breathing your love,
I want to master the art.
With less words,
How to occupy your heart?"
Sooooper :)
And this is my fav. line :)
"Even the striking of clock sounds like guitar."
Just loved it :)
Wonderful! Super ending....
ReplyDeletebeautiful :)
ReplyDeletefabulous!
ReplyDeletesimply eloquent!
ReplyDeleteLoved each line and loved the finish. Sharing it on FB.:)
ReplyDeleteWow...what a flow.....enjoyed reading this :)
ReplyDeleteI read few poetry blogs. Not that I have a dislike for verses but most of them are either mechanical or cloying. Your diction is simple yet deeply touching. Good Work, Saru!
ReplyDeleteYou say it best..when you say nothing at all :)
ReplyDeleteAs usual, you have stolen all of us heart by very few words of your poem.
ReplyDelete"Even the striking of clock sounds like guitar", liked it alot. No more words. :-) ...
i tried my hand in poetry once, i cudnt get past the 2nd word even :) LOL.. ah love. 1 up Saru!
ReplyDeletesaru...there u go again, popping the charts this time :) Good show
ReplyDeletethe last two lines say it all for me :)
ReplyDeletelovely:)
Well said. Saying less is always more effective, especially if you choose the words rightly.
ReplyDeleteLovely lovely.
ReplyDeleteLove every word of your mater piece.
Keep it coming.
@Anand- Thank you Anand, this poem is inspired by Kareena Kapoor's character in Jab We Met.:)
ReplyDelete@Nasnin Nasser- Thank you dear for such a nice comment.
@India's no.1 blog- Thank you and believe me I'm in love with this comment!!!
@Rahul- Thanks Sir...
@डॉ॰ मोनिका शर्मा- Thank you Monica.
@Binu Thomas- A guy can tell that better, thank you :)
@kalpak n.- How Sweet:) :) :)
@Ashwini- I think all girls can relate to it. Thanks dear for liking it.
@Venkateswaran Ramachandran- Thanks RV...
@Hemant- Thank you so much Hemant!!!
@Arti- Thanks for such a lovely comment...
@deepbaazigar- Thanks.
@Spicy Sweet- Thanks dear, you write so beautifully, even this comment reflects your magic...Love it!!!
@Niya- Thanks :)
@Upasana- Thanks Upsana:) :) :)
@Red Handed- Thank you so much!
@A grain of sand- Thank you!
@sawan- Thanks:)
@Rohit Sareen- Thanks Rohit both for the comment and picture:)
@Harsha- I always look forward to your comment, thanks dear:)
@shashi purwar- Thanks Shashi, your comment made my day:) <3 <3 <3
@--- Bagya --- - Thanks Dear!
@infallibleinfectiousidiots- Thanks Dear for such a wonderful comment and welcome here...:)
@Kunal- Because I have lovely people like you around me...BTW thanks to FB:)
@Shesha Chaturvedi- Thank you :)
@Kitty- Thank you!
@Ankur- Thanks Ankur...
@Neeraj Dwivedi- Thanks Neeraj!
@Thousif Raza- You always capture the essence of the poem so nicely, thanks from the bottom of my heart!
@Being_AC- Thank you Sir!
@Manali- I'm crossing my fingers for that, thank you:)
@Angel- Thank you Angel.
@Deepthi- Thanks Deepthi for such a generous comment!
@Rosette Princess- Thank you so much dear:)
@vaisakhi- Thanks a ton dear!
@Blasphemous Aesthete- Thanks Anshul for such a lovely comment:)
@Chintan- I'm glad you liked it...
@ANULAL- Love is a powerful force...:)Thanks...
@Neha- :) :) :)
@SHANOJ K- Thanks!
@Sunil Padiyar- Thank you Sunil for admiring it so nicely...
@Satish Mutatkar- Thanks Sir!
@Sourabh K Rao- Thank you:)
@shveta- Thanks!
@thephoenixarts- Thank you!
@Sameera- Thanks dear...
@⁂ܓVållῐ ⁂ܓ☺- Thank you:)
@umashankar- Your comment made my day. Thanks...:)
@jayendrasharan- Even I think so...
@Little Heart- Thanks and your new picture is really very nice...
@Jayanth- Thanks Jayanth...
@the mind behind the mindless lampoons- Thanks Ravi :)
@tarunima- Thanks :)
@zephyr- I agree with you:) Thanks:)
@Intex 4 Person Mariner Inflatable Boat Set Review- Thanks Dear and welcome here...
mesmerizing words .
ReplyDeleteAhh! Wonderful as always, dear Saru! I especially *love* the last 4 lines ~ excellent! ♥
ReplyDelete"I thought for many nights,
ReplyDeleteUnder cloudless sky conniving with the stars." How creative and different and again drenched in lovely love.
Very nice effort, good going :)
ReplyDeleteSo very wonderful!
ReplyDeleteHope you have a perfect weekend:-)
Nice! The last line was so sweet :)
ReplyDeleteSorry I haven't been following actively for a while. I was busy because of my exams.
I don't know how I missed this one, earlier this week, but let me say....thank you ~ this was magnificent!!
ReplyDeletesuperb dear
ReplyDeletelovely words...beautifully crafted lines!
ReplyDeletewhat an expression saru!
ReplyDeleteIn one word i can say "wow!" :)
Very interesting situation - the chatterbox and the silent one. I'm just wondering how 'funny' that would be.
ReplyDelete@Team G Square- Thank you:)
ReplyDelete@~*Lady Fiona*~- Thank you so much, I was wondering how you would react to this poem. I'm glad you liked it!
@Neeraj Kumar- Thanks Neeraj for such nice compliment:)
@loangyan- Thanks!
@Spiderdama- Thanks dear and you too enjoy the weekend:)
@Charu- Don't be sorry Charu, that's more important. And, thanks for your comment!
@alice alfred- Thanks dear, it happens with me as well...
@Prabhavathi- Thank you!
@Kalyan- Thanks...
@sowmya- Thanks Sowmya:)
@matheikal- That's very funny, I hope you have seen 'Jab We Met'...It's inspired from Kareena's character in that movie...
I am the chatterbox one.. Hope you had a great weekend Saru :)
ReplyDeleteOmG!,I can feel the touch of Luv in ur WORDS.Thanks for sharing it Saru!.
ReplyDeleteThat is very nice! and romantic.. wow wow.. :)
ReplyDeleteSaru...lovely lines and somebody passionaltely in love can surely feel this-
ReplyDelete'the clicking of the clouds also seems like the music from the guitar!'
Great one.
Woooooooooow...:):) amazinggg.. i had smile throughout whn i ws reading..!:):)
ReplyDeleteAmazing Saru.. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful poems with us...
ReplyDeleteSincere, inspiring and romantic:)
ReplyDeletesigh!!! each word of urs...
ReplyDeletesuperb!!
ReplyDeletelovely poem.. ;( :) :)
ReplyDeletethis is so beautiful.... it has touched my soul....
ReplyDeletewell done!!
Kudos! Love it the way you have crafted the words. All the emotions captured. Breathtaking!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.meghasarin.blogspot.com
You are tagged here Saru.And thank you!!
ReplyDeletehttp://myblawghh.blogspot.com/2011/10/first-shower-and-then-some.html
@Kiran @ KiranTarun.com- Hi Kiran, weekend was good, went to Harvard and MIT. I guess, everyone is a chatterbox...:)
ReplyDelete@MyKitchen Flavors-BonAppetit!.- Thanks Christy...:) Your presence grace my blog...
@KP- Thanks KP :)
@Shaifali- Thanks dear...
@Ankitha- :) Thank you!!!
@Swati- Thanks Swati:)
@sajeevkmenon- Thank you so much...
@Mr.Jovita- :) Thanks...
@magiceye- Thank you Deepak Sir...:)
@Arpitha Holla- Thanks Dear!
@swati- Thank a lot Swati...
@Megha Sarin- Thanks a on dear...:) :) :)
@Upasana- I'm truly honored!!! Thanks:)
Lovely read!
ReplyDeleteA Lonely night, at speed
ReplyDeleteI thank you
For this lovely read...
And hopefully I await,
To learn from you
About poetry I write...Good Night!
@Bindu Juneja- Thanks Dear and welcome here!
ReplyDelete@Anoop Mathai Mathew- I think we both will learn from each other...Thanks for your beautiful comment!
You're welcome, looking forwarding to it :-)
ReplyDeletegood one
ReplyDeleteabsolute stunner.... :)
ReplyDeletelol... luk at 1 of your replies here?!,, "thanx dear and welcome here" even that's poetic... :-D
ReplyDelete@Rajendra Raikwar- Thanks
ReplyDelete@r_Phoenix- At times my ranting also rhymes...Bad effect I guess...:)
Hi Saru, I have featured this poem of yours in this week's 'A Sneak From The Past'. You can check it out here: http://vinithadileep.wordpress.com/2015/01/07/a-sneak-from-the-past-5/
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, truly honored.
Delete