Sands of Time
Between my fingers,
Few specks crumble,
Maybe, he left a part of himself there.
I hold my 'own' hands,
To keep him warm inside,
Maybe, he still wants to live in there.
Drinking alone...I murmur,
Emptiness in my heart is more loud.
Stillness around me speaks,
Things of our 'house' shout.
Now...I speak no language,
Neither words nor signs,
Feel nude when I talk,
My shadow sheds clothes as I walk.
Parallel to my own body,
Those days play in mute.
I fast forward it to reality,
For I don't want to re-live that commute.
Across towns I chased him,
My body still sore from travel.
Fighting with life till date,
Though I lost my own battle.
Today I excavated myself,
Buried in the past half naked.
I dust the sand off me,
For we are separated...
*Based on a story of a divorced lady.
A poignant portrayal! Beautifully penned! May you have a wonderful year ahead, Saru
ReplyDeleteबहोत अच्छे ।
ReplyDeleteसुंदर रचना
नया हिंदी ब्लॉग
हिन्दी दुनिया ब्लॉग
As always portrayed it beautifully!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing poetess Saru. Hats off to this poem. Beautiful is the word I want to say but wishing that its much more than what I feel after reading this.
ReplyDeleteYour imaginations are amazing,Saru.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the presentation.
Wish you a very happy New Year.
I am awaiting you on my blog.
Veer Hanuman is calling you.
This is great Saru! The way you penned those emotions , its just beautiful!
ReplyDeleteKeep writing :)
nothing less expected form you :) i'm stunned :)
ReplyDeletesuperb! this one's got extraordinary emotion that u've penned so well.
ReplyDeletepainful to be in that space. jispe beetthi hai wohi jaane but you've emoted well Saru through this poem
ReplyDeleteEmotions can be felt with ur words....
ReplyDeleteNicely Crafted......
Oh wow. This was just beautiful. And heartfelt. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteso soulful, so real... u can almost feel her screaming in front of u... Very powerful saru :) great poem :)
ReplyDeleteTake care and keep writing..........
Wow Saru. Visiting your blog after quite a few days. This poem is truly touching.
ReplyDeleteSaru, each time, every time, you do it.. again and again. To me that is a mystery..for my mind cannot comprehend how you weave words to convey much, but I am so glad that I have the ability to read, feel and relish your poetry. :)
ReplyDeletePoignant brilliance. :)
ReplyDeleteIt struck a chord.
ReplyDeleteYour poems and the way you write remind me of my mother's.
I wonder why the distance is so important to understand the closeness between two minds.
ReplyDeletenot only in physics, but the Time and the Distance has a great value in human relationships as well.
the thoughts are so beautifully expressed as always..thanks :)
Super! I just love reading your poems!
ReplyDeleteIt always a pleasure reading these lovely poems ..
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing
Bikram's
A nice linguistic evidence of a divorced women's pain,
ReplyDeleteMy analytic brain converted it to a new prospect,
Surfacing more independence & liberty of actions,
Hope! you enjoyed the contrast creation, along with the appreciating readers.
Awaiting for the next..BOL
The way you started it!..
ReplyDeleteBetween my fingers,
Few specks crumble,
May be, he left a part of himself there.
This was a brilliant imagination!
And this line is amazing too: My shadow sheds clothes as I walk.
Don't know why, I had goosebumps reading this! Very beautifully penned Saru.
You are always into writing emotional poems my friend. Heart-touching! :)
ReplyDeleteI bow to you Saru..it is so wonderful and well thought..poignant, profound and just awesome. It actually sent a shiver down my spine.
ReplyDeleteWOW! How do you manage to craft the worlds so well and express it?
ReplyDeleteBeautiful
Love
http://www.meghasarin.blogspot.com
mesmerizing , in depth profoundness....and those lines
ReplyDelete"Today I excavated myself,
Buried in the past half naked"
brings life to words!
a heart-warming read!
Absolutely beautiful and poignant!
ReplyDeleteHow well you internalized the emotion of lady. My good wishes to her. I am glad the poem ended on a positive, if not a merry note.
ReplyDeleteLovely.
Beautifully Penned. The emptiness perfectly described.
ReplyDeleteThough separated, yet want to be together!! Divorce is a sad state really.. And very well explained yaar Saru :)
ReplyDeleteLately I've been seeing women leave their husbands, and I am sure the hurt either way is very very deep.
ReplyDeleteYou have written it very very well.. Loved the way you mentioned the intimacy and then the separation between the couple! :)
@Saru: Time for another Happy Poem please! :)
very sensitive approach... beautiful
ReplyDeleteHow do you do this?! You literally get inside the soul...
ReplyDeleteQuite painful....though heart wrecking.....touches the soul..
ReplyDeleteNice work Saru...
totally agreed with Red handed...Saru, u r just great!
ReplyDeleteThe lines are very good..I dont know the meaging for many words you used in some articles and poems. This one is easy to understand
ReplyDeletewow saru .very beautiful poem . har shabd dil ko chu gaya . touching .love your writing . badhai .
ReplyDeletehappy new year
I come back here to personal extend my gratitude for you sincere participation of the self-evaluation my friend and you response was quoted for the day 4. anyway, do keep your powerful words coming in here :)
ReplyDeleteSaru, a very good poem....this has a soulful you :)
ReplyDelete//Feel nude when I talk,
My shadow sheds clothes as I walk.//
Loved these two so much :)
nice poem
ReplyDeletethanks for last lines its based on real story
So sad and beautifully written.
ReplyDeletePainfully moving. :( Brought a tear to my eye!
ReplyDeleteSadly beautiful :O
ReplyDeleteBeautiful sadness -- penned with full of emotions...
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year, Saru my dear :)
"Feel nude when I talk,
ReplyDeleteMy shadow sheds clothes as I walk."
"Today I excavated myself,
Buried in the past half naked.
I dust the sand off me,
For we are separated... "
Both of these segments were my favorite! I liked how you put on the attire to portray the character of a 'separated' woman.
Perfect image ~ well done, Saru :)
Wishing you all the best in 2012! It's been an amazing for you here at "Words" ~ so happy to have been a part of your audience :)
That should have been 'an amazing YEAR'! Lately I haven't been proof-reading my comments before publishing :D
ReplyDeletehey Saru.. always admired your writing.. I started reading your writings from indiblogger.. lovely pieces of work and your comment just made my day :) thank you once again..
ReplyDeletenice writing...
ReplyDeleteHAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU
Hats Off
ReplyDeleteawestruck!!!
ReplyDeleteP.H.E.N.O.M.E.N.A.L!!!
ReplyDeleteTHIS WAS JUST TOO GOOD. YOU ARE BRILLIANT! I LOVED THE POIGNANCE AND THE PAIN, THE LONGING AND THE LOVE,WHICH HAS WEATHERED BY NOW.
@Rahul Bhatia- Thank you Sir for your wishes and compliment:)
ReplyDelete@Khilesh- Thanks:)
@Writing Bee- Thank you Deepthi!
@Shaifali- I can say that for you as well. I do it with rhyming words and you do it without rhyme and meter. You touch the heights of poetry. Thanks Shaifali for a lovely comment.
@Rakesh Kumar- Thank you Sir, sorry for a late reply.
@Rosette Princess- Thank you dear:)
@Inspector Saahab- Thanks dear, means a lot coming from you...
@Rohit Sareen- Thank you Rohit:)
@Sujatha Sathya- True, we can only write words. It's one of the most difficult things especially in our society.
@Prakash Jain- Thank you Prakash!
@Shreya- Thank you dear...
@Thousif Raza- Your comment made my day. You know it's so difficult to impress you...Thanks!
@Kavi- Thank you so much:)
@Sridhar- Thanks!
@Cna- I always say I am blessed with great people around me who shower lovely comments. Thanks Seena for your appreciation:)
@Akshay Kumar G- Thank you Akshay!!!
@PeeVee™- You know one of my friends is going through this and I know how you feel...
@Bhakt Acharyya- We are humans and we make everything so important when it comes to relationships. Time and distance are though not very important...Thanks for your comment Bhakt:)
@Purple Mist- Thanks:)
@Bikramjit- Thank you Bikram!
@Being_AC- I think we have to take it to next level. It becomes all the more important when you are alone. Thanks for an encouraging comment Sir:)
@Harsha- I like the beginning of the poem. In fact I wrote a small piece but Prayukth told me to elaborate. So, I added those lines. Thanks for a great compliment Harsha:)
@Prime Aque- Thank you so much :)
@Pooja Sridhar- Thank you so much Pooja, means a lot coming from you. BTW, where are you these days?
@Megha Sarin- Just like you come up with a nice ensemble...:)
@Rohit- Thank you Rohit:)
@Spiderdama- Thank you Tania:)
@Sameera- Even I feel that there should be some positivity if not happiness in the end.
@Jyothi- Thanks a lot :)
@Binu Thomas- Thanks Binu...
@Mi- Yeah, I so want to write something fun now...:)
@magiceye- Thank you Sir.
@Red Handed- From a friend who got divorced :(
@Hemant- Thanks Hemant:)
@shveta- :) Nothing like that Shveta:)
@shashi purwar- Thanks Shashi...A very happy new year to you as well!
@Prime Aque- Thanks and I am happy to be a part of it!
@TheBluntBlogger- Thanks Chintan:)
@sm- Inspired from real life story...
@ladyfi- Thanks:)
@Raj- Sorry Raj and thanks for appreciating it!
@Shreya- :) Thanks :)
@Kiran @ KiranTarun.com- Thank you Kiran. A very happy new year to you as well:)
@~*Princesa Fiona*~- It has been a great year. I started blogging and made some great friends. Discovered amazing blogs and brilliant writers. What else you want? Hope these bonds continue to flourish in the years to come:) Oh, I love mistakes,it has an element of spontaneity in it:)
@Superrrnickkk...!!!!- Thank you:) Welcome here:)
@Krishna- Thanks and Happy New Year to you as well:)
@HENRY J- Thanks:)
@deepbaazigar- :)
@muthiah sriram- Thanks:)
@A grain of sand- Thanks a lot Stuti, means a lot coming from you dear:)
I like the picture, very creative to match the words!
ReplyDeletePoignant and soul stirring... Excellent as usual Saru..
ReplyDeleteA Very Happy New Year to you and your family! :)
words...words...words...you create magic with them Saru. keep it up!
ReplyDeletefabulous ..
ReplyDeletei've become a fan of your poetry ..
wish you a very happy new year
regards
rahul
Simple yet striking...
ReplyDeleteThank you Saru for making my comeback worthwhile.... :)
Love and hugs,
Indie :)
giving new dimensions to the human emotions..unnerving depth...awesome creativity.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day and happy new year to you again and family and everyone around you …
ReplyDeleteBikram's
Great way to end the year on a brilliant poetic note. Happy New Year 2012.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Scripture... which book is it? Seems familiar.. Rishi
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written!
ReplyDelete//For I don't want to re-live that commute.//
Loved that line.
I want to read it over and over again! :)
vow soooo beautifully written ya.. I could almost feel the strain in the end..
ReplyDeleteWish you a very happy new year dear <3 <3 <3
Superlike:-)
ReplyDeleteVery powerful imagery. It is packed with emotions and untold tales. Quite a classic, Saru!
ReplyDeleteexcellent!
ReplyDeletehappy new year :)
So sad! I hate when people break up. Marriage is such hard work, so are kids. They are enjoyable to.
ReplyDeleteHello Saru. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteThis is painfully bittersweet. You had me hanging on every word.
Visually beautiful.
Thanks for sharing & visiting. Always a pleasure to hear from you.
Wishing you all the very best for this coming year. May it be one filled with wonderful experiences, much happiness, laughter & of course an abundance of love.
A Poet's Immortal Thoughts
the pain in you pens out so beautifully..keep penning...
ReplyDeletetrue that pain brings tears..easy to clap on good writing..tough to go through...what an attitude.. wow...leave the past live 2012
Today I excavated myself,
Buried in the past half naked.
I dust the sand off me,
For we are separated...
Happy new year!! :) this is so touching, very deep emotional was shown.. I love the way you delivered it, really touches my heart.. Thank you so much for this post..:) Have a wonderful new beginning this year..:)
ReplyDeleteOh that's so steeped in poignant feelings dear...it's so moving...a kind of numbness is evident from the words which indicates a pause in the flow of life...and all the memories and longings....truly painful and melancholic;) Sigh Sigh!
ReplyDeleteYayyyyy I am back just to check I wont miss anything new to your words my friend :)
ReplyDeletei would say...extremely good
ReplyDeleteThis is the time travel of a wounded heart for all the good reasons. Nice poem!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's beautifully aching! :)
ReplyDeleteI wonder how you are able to write so beautifully on any subject! Not that I am complaining... Keep them coming.
ReplyDeletei swear on god.. it is very touching and very nice
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully expressed
ReplyDeleteThis is great Saru !
ReplyDeletehappy 2012 :)
thats wonderful expressions of emotions...
ReplyDeleteWish you a Happy new year dear...
Heart touching.....
ReplyDeletewell-put :).
ReplyDeleteHappy new year! :)
wow!!! :)
ReplyDeletePoignant but soul touching and your climax changed the whole geography of the poem...Thats all we need at the end of day-move on and you rightly said "At times losing someone unlocks many doors...You discover yourself in the process..." Keep Shocking!
ReplyDeleteA very Happy New Saru!
Ooops...forgot to write year
ReplyDeleteI did'nt do this knowingly
I swear
So once again
Allow me to say
A Very Happy New year..
Another lovely one from your pen...they say even silence seems loud when you are alone... you have captured the plight of the divorced lady well here..
ReplyDeletetouching
ReplyDeleteWhoa! That was something really awesome...i am a first time visitor to ur blog nd it seems you are really good...
ReplyDeleteI too have tried my hand on poetry..not as good as yo..but would love to get review from you...
Reading again your 'for tribute to all mothers' poem my friend and will I am back bloggin' again for a day absent :) looking for you more masterpieces :)
ReplyDeleteIts a soulful poem indeed Saru. The pain and the life was captured so beautifully in every line. Its a really a hard part of life for people to go through!
ReplyDeleteAnd, sorry for my inordinate comment delay :)
soulful, strong and bare...thanks for this :)
ReplyDeleteI read it twice. First a passing read and second taking in every word and swallowing each emotion.
ReplyDeleteI could picture the sorrow in my head and the lonely darkness that surrounded the woman.
Incredible !
To put those feelings in words as these and so beautifully...
Some situations are hard to explain...
ReplyDeleteSome feelings are hard to express...
But Saru-jee, your 'Words' have proved these statement wrong... Or, I can re frame:
Some people can do..
Some people, Like you..
@Kusum- Thanks:)
ReplyDelete@Arti- Thanks Arti and wish you the same:)
@ANULAL- Awww...thanks a lot Anu!
@rahul aggarwal- Thank you so much Rahul...You just made my day:) A very happy new year to you as well...
@Indiana Amrita- Thanks Indie and welcome back!
@Nitin Jain- Thank you so much Nitin, coming from you it means a lot!
@Bikramjit- Wish you the same Bikram:)
@R.Ramakrishnan- Thank you and Happy New Year to you too:)
@rishi- Thanks, I don't know the book. The picture is from google...
@♪♪Happy Go Lucky♪♪- Thank you so much dear:) I can read your comment over and over again as you picked my favorite line:)
@SuKupedia :) :)- Thank you Suku...Wish you the same:)
@Rudra- Thanks.
@umashankar- Thank you...Glad you liked it!
@joshi daniel- Thanks:) :) :)
@alissa4illustration- True...Marriage requires a lot...
@Andy- Thank you so much Andy and Happy New Year to you too...
@“आशु”- Thanks Ashu and welcome here...:)
@Sagittarian- Thanks for your comment and wishes dear. I reciprocate the same:)
@Nasnin Nasser- Thank you dear for admiring the poem.
@Prime Aque- Awww, thats so sweet of you:)
@Chetan- Thanks Chetan:)
@sriramnivas- Thanks Ram:) Where are you these days?
@Gayathri- Thanks:)
@Nisha- Awww...thank you Nisha:)
@AS- Thanks a lot dear...:)
@Meera Ganesh- Thanks Meera.
@Kitty- Thanks Kitty...
@Prabhavathi- Thanks and wish you the same...
@Narayani Karthik- Thank you!
@Usha A.- Thanks and same to you dear!
@r_Phoenix- Thank you!!!
@Mithlash- Thank you Mithlash for analysing this poem so well. It's feel great to have a reader like you and no need to say things again...We all do typing mistakes. Happy New Year to you too:)
@India's no.1 blog- This poem is because of you...So, thanks:)
@Jidhu Jose- Thanks!
@dharmeshrajput- Thanks, your poem is wonderful. I liked the transition you made in between lines...Lovely!
@Prime Aque- Thank you dear, you always encourage...:)
@Anand- First, don't be sorry and thanks for writing such a lovely comment. And, congratulations on making into the elite list:)
@prateek mathur- :) :) :)
@Jasper- Thank you so much and welcome here:)
@Sunil Padiyar- That's the best compliment I have received till date...Thanks a ton Sunil:)
I don't know what to say. Recently, I happened upon a fim critic's article on Robert de Niro and why the legendary actor hasn't really done any great roles for over 15 years now. There, he mentioned that a great performance inherently stems from a hollowness within, an emptiness one is striving to fill.Reading this poem I was reminded of that article and I guess the critic's words are applicable to all artists. Good luck and godspeed. But, I hope you don't fill up the emptiness 100%. We don't want this blog drying up, do we? :P
ReplyDeleteYou know even I believe sorrow brings out the best in any writer. You can read and feel the emotions better. However, I don't want anyone to be sad. And if the are they find recourse to writing and always be happy...
DeleteThanks for sharing your views. I always love hearing from you.
You really are one of the best poetesses I've come across Saru! You are my new inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, I'm touched!
Delete