ठरकी मन बावरा
शाम से तकिये पे है पड़ा,
ये ठरकी मन बावरा!
कमरे की रौशनी मद्धम करके,
सांसों के उलझते शोर में,
चादर की सिलवटे गिन रहा,
ये ठरकी मन बावरा!
उसे बोलो आए थोड़ी देर से,
खाव्हिशो को होने दे ज़रा धुआं,
लिपट के नाम से उसके बैठेगा तब तक,
ये ठरकी मन बावरा!
पिघलेगे दो जिस्म काली श्याही सी रात में,
और सुलगते हुए जिस्मो की आग में,
बूँद बूँद समेट लूंगी उसके प्यार को इस तरह,
बस कल नाराज़ न हो मुझसे,
ये ठरकी मन बावरा!
ये ठरकी मन बावरा!
wonderful, very nice...
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir. Your comment on my last hindi poem motivated me to write this poem in true bollywood style.
Deleteशाम से तकिये पे है पड़ा,
ReplyDeleteये ठरकी मन बावरा !
कमरे की रौशनी मद्धम करके,
सांसों के उलझते शोर में,
चादर की सिलवटे गिन रहा,
ये ठरकी मन बावरा !....wah saru puri rachna behad khubsurat ....बूँद बूँद समेट लूंगी उसके प्यार को इस तरह,
बस कल नाराज़ न हो मुझसे...ये ठरकी मन बावरा !
..behad khubsurat prastuti . shabdo ki ladi .kya khoob khil kar saji . badhai .....:):):):) pyari si dil machlati hui .man babra .
Thanks a lot Shashi...:)
DeleteHi, nice sharing..:) I don't understand your language, but thanks to google translate..:) This is so lovely and romantic..:)
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton dear for doing the effort and reading it. Feels great to have a reader like you...:)
Deleteexcellent....loved every ठरकी word of this poem; hehehe
ReplyDeleteThank you Deepak:)
DeleteAnother great one Saru..so simple, yet powerful...
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Prayukth...:)
DeleteSaru Saru Saru...
ReplyDeleteThey say, there are somethings which are aesthetically beautiful and some otherwise! :)
Tharki mann Bawra is one of the best reads EVER!! :)
It couldn't get better this valentine's!! :)
It is beautiful otherwise, thanks a lot for admiring its beauty. I'll treasure this comment forever...:)
Deleteमुक्त विचारों सुंदर प्रस्तुति,बहुत अच्छा,
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed very free spirited Sir. Thank you for your comment.:)
Deletebeeeeeautiful!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you:) :) :)
Deletebeautiful Saru! Another great piece from you!! You play with words so beautifully...
ReplyDeleteThanks Upasana...:)
DeleteI like the Tharki word in this poem very much:)Lovely, Beautiful, mischieviously expressed:)I hope kal ye tharki mann naraaz nahi hoga tumse, Kyunki pyaar tau wo bhi karta hai tumse:) Bahut hi accha likha hai...I liked it:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Mithlash...Good to see poetry in your comment...:) :) :)
DeleteAhahaha.. The poems written in Hindi are so Soulful. Very well written.. Loved it to the core of my heart:)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sonia:)
DeleteBeautifully expressed with so much feelings!! The name and the description of this blog is so so well apt Saru. You never fail to create the magic in words!
ReplyDeleteKeep Writing. :)
Thanks a lot Rachit...:)
DeleteGreat one yaar Saru!! :) And with Valentines day approaching, it all makes more sense :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Binu...
DeleteSo much of love and passion! Magical words, Saru! Just loved them..:):):)
ReplyDeleteThanks Harsha...:)
DeleteThis was lovely...poems in hindi sound so much better!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, hindi poems are way better...Thanks for liking it Ria:)
DeleteBeautiful.. It sounds even more romantic in Hindi..!
ReplyDeleteTrue...:) Thanks for your comment dear:)
DeleteBeautiful Saru! I want to sing now...:))
ReplyDeleteO re manwa tu to bawra hai..tu hi jaane tu kya sochta hai - bawre... :))
I love that song...Thanks Kitty...:)
DeleteBelieve to uncertainty,
ReplyDelete'Naraj' se 'Raj'..
En-lightning! owned pleasure.:)Thanks
Thank you Sir for appreciating it...
DeleteHar baat par
ReplyDeleteHar ehsaas par
Kyu likha hai naam tumhara
Kya Koi lag gaya hai mujhe Koi rog
Shayad nahi
Kyunki jisse main itna pyaar karti hoon
Uska naam hai Alok:)
@ Alok: Sir you are very lucky:)
Alok told me to pass on a big thanks to you for writing such lovely lines...:)
Deleteबूँद बूँद समेट लूंगी उसके प्यार को इस तरह, :)
ReplyDeleteSamet le Saru.. Saara Pyar tu peeja :)
d pain's romantic n beautiful saru..
I wrote down sumthing on similar lines .. wud like u to read it..
http://tonightidream-iwander.blogspot.in/2012/02/blog-post.html
Sure, will read it...Thanks for your comment!
DeleteSimply soul-stirring! :) You weave magic through your words every single time.
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton Raj...:)
DeleteVery natkhat your tharki mann bawara..:)
ReplyDelete:) :) :)
Deleteseems to be stung by the love bee Charu :) nice poem
ReplyDeletewww.nitinjain.blogspot.com
I am, love is in the air...:) Nitin, my name is Saru...:)
Deletehehe.. :)
ReplyDeletechulbuli lines..
palchhin-aditya.blogspot.in
Thanks Aditya...:)
DeleteSaru, I wish I could understand Hindi a bit more than I do to enjoy your beautiful poems, especially the less common words. What is the meaning of Tharki?
ReplyDeleteTharki means horny...This poem is revolving around the sexual desire of the protagonist. Also, I tried to write it as a bollywood number...:)
Deletewah! bahut khoob kahi!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir...:)
Deleteahhhaaa!!! vday special ;)
ReplyDeletethe last four lines are absolute killer!
Thank you so much Rohit...:) Last four lines epitomize desire...
DeleteI love the way you used Tharki....Used normally, it's such a cheap word, but in this poem of yours it has been lifted to new heights. Beautifully penned, as usual.
ReplyDeleteThank you Meera. The whole idea was to use this word in a mischievous and less refined way. Thanks for understanding the true essence...:)
Deletetoo good, just brilliant...hindi poetry in this fashion! and with so much flow! impressive,amazing :)please continue this tryst with hindi poetry!
ReplyDeleteSure, Stuti. I hope I have told you how much I respect your opinion. Will be posting in hindi once a month...:)
DeleteCatches you by the throat! Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much...:)
DeleteHi saru, I am a fan of your english poems and the feelings and expressions in it. Here the word "ठरकी" couldn't make the expression soft, and positive! I am an avid reader of hindi litrature and hence i am able to give my comments on this. (excuse me if you didnt like my comment.) but the pious feelings of love making are being rejected by this word! Its sounding same as some hindi bollywood songs like "ishq kamina"... The song is catchy but not very deep from the literary point of view!
ReplyDeleteI hope you wudn't mind my comment...:)
Even I believe that the feeling and passion of love is negated by the use of this word Saru Di. I don't read much of Hindi literature like Shesha but I can say this firmly.
DeleteSaru, wouldn't lie! If people are appreciating this poem, you got a problem in genuine feedback.
DeleteTharki, didn't strike a cord. I would rather have a vyangya, dark hindi poem with that word but not sensuous.
@Shesha Chaturvedi- First a big thank you for saying that it sounds like a bollywood number. On my last hindi poem someone who works in the entertainment industry in India said that I should or rather I can write such poems which have a touch of bollywood numbers. I tried and happy to know that I'm able to do it. Secondly, I wanted to convey that she is longing to wild love making and thus the phrase 'सुलगते हुए जिस्मो की आग'.
DeleteI loved your comment:) :) :)
@Seяendipity™- Negated, I don't think so as the poem clearly portrays that she is longing for wild sex as I mentioned above.
Delete@Chintan- You don't like the poem, sad to know that...:(
About genuine feedback, I am working on overcoming that loophole of blogging...
nah! rest of the poem and the expressions are fine! but the word "tharki" is actually use to ABUSE the desparados in reality in hindi language. Thats why i mentioned it. Rest of course its your space and u may intend to change the way this word is looked upon!
Deletemoreover if u wish to create a piece of literature it has to show the negative of positive sides of the topic with carefully chosen words. the words like "Kamina", "Tharki", are abusive... The way u wudn't use an abusive words in english, to create an impact(unless and until its a song by Akon, where he used "f" word in one version and "love" word in another one in one of his songs. both had the audience. :|) Its you ofcourse who wud decide how it shud go in the end!!! I guess i am able to express it what even serendipity and chintan are trying to say!!!
DeleteP.s. Its really nice to see that you took the comments in a positive manner.. :) thanks.
Let me explain you why I chose this word and why I think it's right:
Delete1. Take the hindi song 'Ishq Kamina', it is catchy and peppy because of the word Kamina. If you add any subtle word like 'namkeen' it wouldn't make that much of an impact.
2. I hope you have heard the song 'Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me'. The word 'bitchy' is abusive but it has elevated the song lyrics wise. If you write 'Sexy Naughty Lovely Me', it would end up being a normal song.
Also, I was writing a lyrical piece. I know you didn't like the word as you appreciate subtle language. In the end, I would again thank you. It feels great to have well read readers like you...
YES SARU SOME MINDS R THARKI & SOME R BAWRA ...NICE CHOICE OF WORDS.
ReplyDeleteThanks Indu:)
Deleteso then is it naraaj or what :)
ReplyDeletelovely catchy romatic passionate poem :)
Bikram's
No, it's not...Thank you for liking the poem...:)
DeleteThe first word means 'fear' if I'm right; second word means 'heart'; it can't figure out the third word in the heading. Sorry, not very good in Hindi. May be you could help me out with the translation; atleast the heading part. Kind a bothering u but please don't mind!!!!
ReplyDeleteNo problems Ram...The poem is about a lady who is passionately waiting for his beloved and is longing for love making.
DeleteSaru....WHAT ARE YOU!!! :O
ReplyDeleteSomeone who is trying to find feet in blogging world and is lucky to have people like you as readers...Sorry, very lucky...:) :) :)
DeleteTalk of desire! :D
ReplyDeleteInteresting!
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
Thank you Anshul :)
DeleteI had a speechless reaction for almost a minute after going through this bollywood typo song.....Di....I guess its time to try bollywood now :)
ReplyDeleteI tried touching the bollywood style here and thankfully you felt it. Thank you very much for your comment...:) :) :)
DeleteGazab ... Superb writing.. How. how can you put such tricky thoughts so neatly. Amazingly written. I have become your fan !!
ReplyDeleteSpeechless after reading your comment...
DeleteThank you:) :) :)
You truly unleash the power of the language.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir for such a motivating comment:)
DeleteLoved the rural aroma into it bcoz of those few words like ठरकी and बावरा used into it....BEAUTIFUL...:)
ReplyDeleteThank you dear, the rawness of these hindi words accentuates the beauty of the entire poem...
DeleteNice one, Saru:)))
ReplyDeleteThanks Deepa:)
DeleteMadam..i love the way you have written,,excellent as usual...
ReplyDeleteThank you Stephan...:)
DeleteGreat to see one of my favourite words being used so sensuously :-)
ReplyDeleteSometimes that is the only way to describe a passion driven n desiring heart! Valentine's would be glad to have this little lovely love dedication:-)
I agree, sometimes you have to say things as it is without caring for the subtleness. Thank you for your comment Suruchi:)
Deleteur description of the scenario is beautiful...and the lines...बूँद बूँद समेट लूंगी उसके प्यार को इस तरह,
ReplyDeleteबस कल नाराज़ न हो मुझसे.. are really pretty..
but just one concern...
as far as i know, tharki has a negative connotation...like a nymphomaniac... a degree weaker though...and even if the word itself didn't mean that, its colloquial usage is definitely that...
reduces the sensual appeal by a notch...
just by a notch though :)
I searched for the meaning of the word 'nymphomaniac' and this is what I got, 'a woman who has abnormally excessive and uncontrollable sexual desire'. And, I wanted to portray that side of the protagonist in the poem. Not that she is suffering from it, she is longing for it that particular day.
DeleteThanks for liking some words and for your comment. I really appreciate your feedback, brings out the beauty of blogging with intelligent people.
my pleasure :)
DeleteWowie...Loved every word of it... very honest, very beautiful
ReplyDeleteHats Off Saruji
Thank you so much Nuktaa...:)
DeleteAwesome as always :) thanks to google translate :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for doing the effort and reading it...:):):)
DeleteI absolutely loved the poem and the way it is expressed. Sonorous, it was! :)
ReplyDeleteMore so, I loved the title of the poem - tharki mann bawra! ;)
Even I love the title, it's so playful...Thanks Akriti...:)
DeleteCongrats.. loved reading your poetry and what is new about it? You write so well :)
ReplyDeleteAwww...thats so sweet of you...Thanks a ton dear for the wishes and compliment...:)
DeleteNever saw this side of you Saru. The rawness of words, the unapologetic sexuality of the protagonist are all so real. But I don't think it is typical Bollywood but more like Sudhir Mishra, Anurag Kashyap kind of sensibility. Sensuous but not cheap. Gr8 job.
ReplyDeleteYour comment made my day. I was questioning myself yesterday for not translating my thoughts properly but now I feel relaxed. Thank you!!!
DeleteLajawab...
ReplyDeleteIts really amazing how you play with words and make them sound better and somehow make them feel more meaningful!
Love it!
Thanks a lot Mohur...:)
DeleteThis is amazingly sweet
ReplyDeleteThank You!
DeleteI like the poem but didn't get what is 'taraki' :(
ReplyDeleteThanks Kusum, Tharki means 'horny'.
DeleteVery beautiful! very intense!!
ReplyDelete-amit
Thank you Sir...:)
DeleteSensuous! Candid and Intimate.
ReplyDeleteWell done.Par ek hi saath me tharki aur bawra dono, ye ek bohot interesting protagonist lag rahi hai:)
Arnab, I was trying to write a catchy hindi lyrical poem. Now, Hindi film heroine should be interesting...:) :) :)
DeleteThank you for reading it...:)
Lovely pic... (I'm afraid I can't understand the words...)
ReplyDeleteSorry for that, thanks for your comment dear:)
Deletebeautiful poem Saru:) did not get the word 'Tharki'.
ReplyDeleteTharki means 'horny'. And, thanks for liking the poem Rekha...:)
DeleteAmazingly beautiful
ReplyDeleteBlogger
http://pscoldquestions.blogspot.in/
Thank you :)
DeleteOne more suggestion
ReplyDeletepls add google transliteration facility right into your blog. it will help others to read ur amazing poem with language barrier.
I'll try that and thanks for stopping by here...:)
DeleteHi kya baat hai Saru....very romantic....lovely poem
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton Seema:)
Deletewoow .. baar baar padi aur kaii baar padne ka mann ho raha hai .. aisa lagta hai Saru main agar 5-10 baar aur yeh kavita ladunga toh mujhe humesha ke liye yaad ho jayegi :P
ReplyDeleteThat's so sweet of you Rahul. BTW, what about the poem you wrote? I thought you will publish it. Waiting for it...:)
Deleteऔर इस प्रकार राग ठरकी मल्हार का स्रजन हुआ ... काश इतने कमेंट्स हमे भी कोई देता :)
ReplyDeletehttp://bdhyani.blogspot.in/
http://travelblogdhyani.blogspot.in/
:) Seriously, we love comments so much. Every comment is a reward. I wish you get as many as you want...:)
DeleteThanks for visiting...:)
aye haye..."tharki mann bawra"...sounds gud..
ReplyDeleteevery heart in love is one..indeed..!!!
Thanks you so much and welcome here:)
DeleteExcellent.. at first when i read the title, i asked myself.. "Eh??" but then again.. Very Nice!! need i say more.. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. The title has sparked many controversies...:)
DeleteThanks for liking it...:)
i actually loved it, and more than that a very good title..
ReplyDeleteyou chose the right words in every line..:)
Thank you so much Chetan...:) :) :)
Deleteye mujhe Gulzar saheb ke ek khoosurat gaane ki yaad dilata hai .. "Mera kuch saamaan.." .. very beautiful composition Saru :)
ReplyDeleteThanks you so much...That song is soulful...:)
DeleteWaah! Bahut hi zabardast likha hai... This is quite amazing... Itni khoobsurti ke saath 'tharki' word use kiya hai...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. Delighted to know that you liked it...:)
DeleteWow... I bet you can give Vishal Bhardawaj/Gulzar a run for their money....no jokes...
ReplyDeleteGreat going!!
That's so nice of you Mansi. Thank you so much and welcome here...:)
Deleteamazing poem
ReplyDeleteउसे बोलो आए थोड़ी देर से,
खाव्हिशो को होने दे ज़रा धुआं, was the best line!
though i didn't understand, why'd u use the word 'tharki', coz i guess it means lecherous
I wanted to write it on the lines of a hindi number with a catchy word. Also the protagonist is trying to say she wants to have physical intimacy, thats why the last paragraph talks about love making...
DeleteThanks for reading Mohit:)
कमाल का लिखा है आपने.
ReplyDeleteठरकी मन बाबला ने तो बबाल ही मचा दिया है.
आपकी पोस्ट पर हुई टिप्पणियों और उसपर
आपकी सुन्दर प्रति टिप्पणियों से बहुत कुछ सीखने को मिला.
बहुत बहुत आभार सारु.
Thank you so much Sir for your comment!
Deletejust read your poem. its bold and hits where it hurts the most. should write more often in hindi :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Bhanu and welcome here...:)
Deletemann ke mat pe mat chaliyo ye jeete jee marwa dega.....:)
ReplyDeleteSahi kaha par kaun samjaye is baware ko...:)
DeleteOMG!!! Awesome poem!!
ReplyDeleteI wish someone sings it....
Dil toh bachcha hai ji ;-)
Even I wish someone sings it. Thanks for liking the poem. And hope someday someone sings the lyrics penned by me.
Deletewah sahi hai ye to :P
ReplyDeletewaise kisko dimaag me rakhke likha gaya tha..kahi sahi me us din aap dono ne pee to nahi rakhi thi na hehehe....
really short and nice poem. \m/
Nothing like that, when you are a poet, you are expected to think like this. Thanks for reading!
DeleteWaah !!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could write like this !!!
A beautiful portrayal of Tharki and Baawra !!!
Happy Blogging and take care !!
Thank you :)
DeleteBahut hi payara hai..."Ye Tharki Maan Baawra".
ReplyDeletelike a cup of tea to a tired, its as refreshing as a cold breeze in hot summer afternoon...
really good...
Thank you so much :)
DeleteSheer pleasure. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Deleteohh.. such a beautiful description of the sensuous moments.. loved it..
ReplyDeleteThanks Pratik!
Deletewell composed, thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful Saru....interpretation is stupendous and the flow is mellifluous...not getting the right words as I am awestruck....its just so beautiful...thanks for giving us such a wonderful read
ReplyDeleteThanks dear, Glad you liked it :)
Deleteये ठरकी मन बावरा.. gotta love this expression. can't say enough about it Saru. fell in love with the line immediately.
ReplyDeleteStupendous. full of passion and melody. full marks to you dear.
Thank you Deepak, I love this poem. I feel this is the best hindi poem written by me. :)
DeletePardon my narcissism :P
One more thing i forgot to say.. Read some comments above about word tharki.. i believe expressions are not slave of words. how you are using the words is more important than word itself.. context is very important.. e.g. we may abuse our friends with love.. so i agree 100% with you here.. it is the word tharki that has made this poem extra special. there is nothing abusive about it. creativity is all about thinking beyond structural and semantic boundaries. in the end.. hats off to you for using tharki word in aesthetic manner..
ReplyDeleteI wish you were there when the discussion was happening. I so love what you have written. A big big thank you Deepak :)
Deletea very beautiful piece of expression
ReplyDeleteThank you Roshan!
Deletenice
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed this one truly....somewhere it reminded me of the song "banwara man dekhne chala ek sapna..." if you have heard it
ReplyDeleteI think so...Thanks for reading Geetashree :)
Deletebahut sundar bhaw hai...aur majedar bhi..
ReplyDeletemere blog par bhi padhariye
न जाने कौन सी दवा दे गया था वो हक़ीम ,
न ही वो पास आती है, न ही ये मर्ज़ दूर जाता है।
http://iwillrocknow.blogspot.in/
Shukriya and welcome here.
DeleteRead the poem after over two years Saru, still as wonderful, striking and hard-hitting as ever. Beautiful piece of work:)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, sir. :)
Deletewonderful, very nice...
ReplyDeletedo not know whether to say that i liked it or not. aFter having read so many soulful and classy writings of yours ... ye tharki word khatak raha hai mujhe.. aap sirf classy wala likho :) it doesn't mean that this poem is not good.. it reveals that you are versatile .however as a reader, i like "Saru, the Classy" ..
ReplyDeleteOh, I feel this word has made this poem, but I respect your opinion. Thanks a bunch for being honest. :)
DeleteEnter your comment.Mann hi nahi bharta... this one is for ages... you got to write its rehashed version.. offend more people with false sense of creativity... ;)
ReplyDeletewrite part 2