Less Words...
Breathing your love,
I want to master the art.
With less words,
How to occupy your heart?
I thought for many nights,
Under cloudless sky conniving with stars.
Intoxicated with your love,
Even the striking of clock sounds like guitar.
Neither I can play with words,
Nor I can weave a fable.
I get goose bumps on my body,
When we sit across the table.
You're a man of few words,
But, I'm little loquacious.
Fearing my utterance of useless words,
Project me as flirtatious.
So, the less words I want,
Can you help me, please?
Or else I'll say love you,
Every time I breathe.
*Image Source - Google
*Image Source - Google
blabbering out is a fear of many..
ReplyDeletesometimes in nervousness we utter out nonsense..
that feeling of finding Just Right Words.. is universal..
beautiful poem Saru !!
I know, just the right words doesn't happen often.
DeleteThanks for reading the poem, Jyoti.
The last two lines are so beautiful. Feel a bit sad for her as she is generous with her words and he is stingy.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he should open up a bit and stop being miser at words. Thanks for reading Kalpana.
DeleteSo very beautiful! He better act out the part.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he better does that. :)
DeleteAh - just lovely!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteSimply good! you are a rock star of poetry!!! :)
ReplyDeleteHehehe...Thank you for a generous comment Raj. :)
DeleteLovely :) The last four lines means a lot ! Liked it much :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sush :)
DeleteA lovely 'love' poem. I enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ma'am.
DeleteWow what a parody of love! Saru, the words never fail you no matter in what measure you use them:)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Sir. Your comment just made my day.
DeleteLesser and denser
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteSaru, it's so beautiful! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteThanks and welcome back, Sindhu :)
DeleteBREVITY is important. I learned this the hard-way. Once, I used to write 1200-1800 word posts in my blog and was wondering why no one came to read them :P
ReplyDeleteSince can mask our ignorance, but our ignorance will seldom allow us to be silent :P
Destination Infinity
I meant, Silence can mask our ignorance... !
DeleteBrevity is indeed very important. Silence has many dimensions. Thanks for reading.
DeleteVery beautiful poem :D
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Deleteanother beautiful poem,well done
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteVery beautiful and soulful ! LOved the last two lines
ReplyDeleteThanks Ankur.
DeleteWouldn't it be an amazing match, the one with few words and the brevity of his words completed by the garrulous one.
ReplyDeleteCute post there, the last emotion was the most beautiful.
Cheers,
Blasphemous Aesthete
Yeah, kinda similar to Jab We Met.
DeleteThanks for reading Anshul.
Its not easy controlling our tongues especially when we belong to the 'Out of control' category :D Lovely!
ReplyDeleteYeah, absolutely!
DeleteLast two lines!! WOW! Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mi!
DeleteLovely poem, the last two lines makes it even more lovable.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dhiraj.
DeleteSuch a sweet poem, Saru :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Stuti.
Deletesimply loved the sweetness :)
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteSweet poem!
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed reading the ending lines, such a sweet blackmail :D
Hehehe...thank you.
Deletehmmm...most of the times, it happens. Less words from one...
ReplyDeleteThe 'love you' will definitely make them spill out a few golden words though. :-)
These are magic words. Thanks for reading, Rekha.
DeleteSaru perhaps it is the mystery of the few words spoken or words not spoken that attracts. To each his own...we struggle to make these changes where few words are used but i have given up on that quest because for me words are still not enough.
ReplyDeletePersonally i am more comfortable with those who possess finesse in their words even when they are many as compared to those who won't speak much or say much in words. Prem kee abhivyakti honee chahiyay...shabdon se aur agar shabd nahin hain tab vyavhaar say...
Last line said it all and thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts. It will stay with me...
DeleteUsing the right words and expressing one's love with the right intensity is an art. Anything less or more will create adverse effects :)
ReplyDeleteIndeed...Welcome back Prasanna, good to see you again.
DeleteLoved the lyricism!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sir.
DeleteThat's so sweet... :) A very lovely and lyrical poetry.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Bushra.
DeleteNice one Saru...i can relate to that sitting on the other side...
ReplyDeleteHmmm...So you are the less talkative types. :)
Deletewow Saru --every word breathes romance ---great one
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Rajni.
DeleteSimple but sentimental and touching poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteVery nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Deleteso sweet and lovely :)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Delete:)You could let those eyes talk. ;)
ReplyDeleteBut people don't say enough 'I love yous' Only 3 words there, you can keep saying that, Saru. :)
I hope you are having a good week. :)
Yeah, that's a good and romantic idea Dee. You too have a great week and take care :)
Deletebeautiful composition..ur vocabulary is simply excellent..loved the last four lines
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot, Aparna. :)
Deletewowww...the constant pondering that goes on in your mind when you are in Love...you have so much to express, but perhaps words would not do enough justice to what you feel. lauvvedd it :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, words fail us that time. Thanks for a lovely comment Jiggyasa.
DeleteGood one... Loved it....
ReplyDeleteThanks and welcome here.
DeleteWow....the last stanza was really awesome :D
ReplyDeleteThanks, Akash.
DeleteLovely word Saru, as usual. This one so nicely mirrors the angst of a person who feels she talks too much..Retrospective regrets are so common among those who love to talk but alas are also introspective.
ReplyDeleteVery true. Thanks for reading and for a lovely comment.
DeleteT poem is just beautiful Saru....great job. I only wonder if there could be anything a "Correct words" as we all have our own perceptions and what is right for me can be wrong for others.
ReplyDeleteI have experienced it many times....people hear what I never said and never hear what I keep saying again and again. :-)
Yeah, that happens all the time. Somehow, who know us and understand us without even saying much.
DeleteThanks for reading.
I think you answered at the end, '"....Love you/every time i breathe" what an inspiration for me too before I go out to the hills for my work. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir.
DeleteAwesome verses..:-)
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteBrevity is indeed a rare talent. Nicely put. The last two lines were spectacular :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
DeleteOMG this was amazing...In my case I am the one who keeps quiet, and he keeps talking...Lesser the words means more he talks :)
ReplyDeleteThat is so so sweet, same is with my husband. I can't forget how much he talked and wiped his sweat when he came to meet my mother for the first time.
Deletenice post!!
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteI see the interplay of two interesting characters aptly brought out...lovely!
ReplyDeleteThank you :)
DeleteLess is more :-)
ReplyDeleteAlways.
DeleteAmazing Lines..Lovely Composition... :)
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot.
Deletewow! so nice composition. Less words always nice :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jahid.
DeleteYou tend to explore strange and unseen aspects of love through your poetry...truly a gift!
ReplyDeleteThank you, humbled! :)
DeleteLoved the ending. It made me remember these lines from one of my poems-
ReplyDeleteहर साँस-साँस तुम्हारा ख़याल
हर धड़कन तुम्हारी आरज़ू,
कैसे संभालूं यह मन के ज़ज्बात
तुम शब्द नहीं मेरे, बस आत्मा की जुस्तजू!
The beloved is in every breath, love is in the air, I am intoxicated and blind for you. Ever I breath, I breathe you and your name...
Words r less when the love is more. Don't worry...just keep breathing.
Read this full poem of mine here-
http://guptashaifali.blogspot.com/2012/02/i-love-you-should-i-say-it-today.html
Yeah, that is true, words fail us when we are in love. Beautiful lines from your poem and thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts with us, Shaifali.
DeleteLast Four lines are so awesome
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteWell composed and it really stands out. Good work keep it up.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Pravin.
DeleteBeautiful lines Saru and so true -- your words just touched my soul.
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton, Arti.
DeleteSaru, I guess men are not good at speaking their heart out (my feeling - I might be wrong).. And especially when it comes to romantic moments.. So, I can understand the guy's loss of words in the situation mentioned in your poem :)
ReplyDeleteBut, how can you churn out wonderful poems so frequently? Awesome yaar..
Binu, that was quite a defense :P
DeleteAnd thanks for your appreciation, means a lot coming from you.
so beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Joshi.
DeleteLovely...
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteBeautiful poem! Opposites attract each other. :)
ReplyDeleteIt sure does. Thanks for reading, Gayatri.
Deletewow.. so romantic Saru... :-) Beautiful....
ReplyDeleteThanks a ton, Swati.
Deletenice piece of writing after ;ong time here keep writing
ReplyDeleteWelcome back!
DeleteWow...lovely poem liked reading it.....good topic
ReplyDeleteThanks Chetan.
DeleteWOW is the right word... and I often(almost always) blabber...
ReplyDeleteMadhavi
Me too...:) Specially in front of my husband.
Deleteah...I loved it :D really pretty :p :D :D
ReplyDeleteThank you, Suganya :)
Deletelovely poem!! :D
ReplyDeleteAwesome poem. enjoyed reading :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Viditi :)
DeleteAs usual, you left me speechless :)
ReplyDeleteHumbled, thanks Ayushee.
DeleteLiked the verses a lot Saru.
ReplyDeleteThanks Aiswarya and welcome here!
Deletesaying the right words at the right time is indeed an art form i think,specially people like me, who rush with words from the heart.Lovely words.
ReplyDeleteI guess, most women will feel like you.
DeleteThank you for reading, Nima.
just what soul needs. nice & lovely in its own ways. good wishes. keep reading & sharing :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you and welcome here!
DeleteFirstly, heartfelt appreciation for this wonderful poem.Secondly, there is absolutely no need of any words to understand and express Love. If the feelings are loquacious(from both sides), it is fathomable. Words are just a formality then which comes by without much thoughts.
ReplyDeleteEither our thoughts and feelings be loquacious or our words and in this case the former is preferable.
Your title says it all..:)
Yes, you are right and between all that, we write a poem. Thanks for a lovely comment.
DeleteI'll say love you,Every time I breathe.
ReplyDeleteWow what a deep thought. Even I firmly believe that if there is a heart to heart connection between two persons then words are not required there. Your expressions can convey your message to that person directly...
It remind me of one Hindi Movie named "Koshish" starring Sanjeev Kumar and Jaya Bhaduri. Which has been considered a landmark movie in the history of Indian cinema. It proves that No Words are required to express your love to someone.
Love needs no medium. It is self sufficient. Thanks for reading and for a lovely comment.
DeleteWhat a beautiful poem! I have become your fan. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHumbled! Thanks for reading, Binod.
DeleteBeautiful poem
ReplyDelete